All is in God's hands

---By Lucy Pu, 2021/05/09

I have recently been accepted into McGill's medical school and will be starting this coming August. The whole process of deciding to apply for medical school and then going through the entire application process has really shown me how real God is, and how he can use my life to glorify him and be a testimony for him.

I had a very hard time in the beginning deciding whether I should pursue this path or not. In my mind, if I chose to go, it meant that I automatically put God aside. What I did not realise is that no matter what I am doing, God can use me. After a lot of prayers and fellowship with other saints, I was peaceful about proceeding forward. Medical school was something that I really wanted humanly, and I did not want to give it up, but I also did not want to give up the Lord. I was honest about it with the Lord. He then told me that all I needed to do was trust in Him, and I did. At that point, I was very peaceful about my decision. I knew that it did not mean that I would get in, but that the Lord would provide for me. Even if the Lord wanted to place me somewhere that was not medical school, I was peaceful with it because I gave myself to the Lord, and gave him a chance to reveal his desires to me.

I took the MCAT last summer, which is an entrance exam for medical schools. I did horribly, even though I studied a lot and did well on the practice exams. As a result of my poor score, I was limited to only a handful of schools. In February, as I got rejected from all out of province schools, I did get an interview from McGill and found out a few weeks later that I was accepted, which was my first choice from the very beginning. I also found out last week that UdeM rejected me, and since it is in Quebec and I already got accepted at McGill, I thought I had a good chance of getting in. This whole experience has really shown me that it is God who gives and places me where he wants me to be. Even as I was getting rejected from every school, and basically failed my MCAT, there was this peace inside of me that the Lord would take care of me. He not only listened to my prayers, but more than that, He showed me that I only have what I have, because He gave it.

It reminds me of what we are seeing in Abraham. God promised him a land as well as descendants. Abram (later Abraham) and Sarai (later Sarah) wanted a child for a very long time, and God listened to that. However, once they found out that God promised them a child, they tried to fulfill this using their own human logic. Sarai told Abram that it would be impossible for her to have a child, therefore he should lay with Hagai, her servant. Technically, the child, who was Ishmael, would still be Abram's descendant. However, that was not what God wanted. This was a result of their own vision added onto God's. Ishmael later lived in the wilderness and became an expert with the bow which means to kill lives. They did what they thought made sense to accomplish what God wanted. God later showed them that He is actually the one that gives and supplies. Sarah and Abraham indeed had a son, Isaac, and THAT was what God wanted. Isaac satisfied God because he was willing to be sacrificed as a burning offering to God. We can see that instead of trusting God's timing and words, Abraham and Sarah did things their own way. Similarly, once I had peace inside my heart to apply for medical school, I tried to do things to increase my chances: obviously study hard, start volunteering, find reference letters. There is nothing wrong with all these, but in the end, not only did I get into my top choice, but the things I did (MCAT, reference letters.) were all items not required for McGill's application. It just truly showed me that it was all in God's hands. I still do not know why the Lord placed me at McGill, or even let me go to medical school because it is such a hard and time-consuming road, but I want it to be for Him. I am aware this will not be easy, but I want God to be my priority. I still want to attend Lord's Day, prayer meetings, serve the young people, read with companions (like our Thursday reading time with Estelle and Diane and some other sisters, as well as our praying time for the YP with Ellena and Diane)...because these are what will truly supply me, give me life, and protect me. I do not want to belong to this world and be FOR the world. Even if temporarily, I may have less time, I want to be close to God. My experiences can deepen my relationship with Him, enlarge me, shape me, and I can become a better testimony for Him, and serve his church better. What I gain is not for me but for Him and His church.

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